Article published July 29, 2021
Don’t know where to start? Here are the books and programs to get your love on the right track
Like any worthwhile skill, practice makes progress. This is especially true in our relationships. Written by Dr. John Gottman following more than 40 years of couples research, these books have helped countless partners love each other better.
“The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”
“The key to reinvigorating fondness and admiration is to get in the habit of scanning for qualities and actions that you can appreciate. And then, let your partner know what you’ve observed and are grateful for.”
Dr. John Gottman, “Seven Principles,” pg. 71
Crack open this bestseller for some Gottman 101. “Seven Principles” is the result of Dr. John Gottman’s groundbreaking research on relationship stability in the world-famous Love Lab. This book introduces you to core Gottman concepts including love maps, the Four Horsemen, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning.
You’ll discover steps to resolve conflict and reach common ground with your loved one. Rich with questionnaires and interactive exercises, “Seven Principles” is your toolbox for building a strong, lasting relationship.
“What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal”
“Many people think that effective communication entails making yourself interesting to others, when actually it is all about being interested in others and listening.”
Dr. John Gottman, “What Makes Love Last?” pg. 92
When your connection feels broken, how do you fix it? Is it possible to recover from infidelity? In this book, Dr. Gottman guides you through the science of trust and attunement. “What Makes Love Last?” helps you uncover the listening and communication skills that can repair a frayed partnership and make your connection stronger than before.
“Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love”
“If you approach the mystery that is your partner with curiosity, your relationship and your life will be immeasurably enriched.”
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, “Eight Dates” pg. 11
It’s time for a date! “Eight Dates” is your roadmap for a journey of romantic discovery. Drs. John and Julie Gottman offer you conversation-starters to address the topics that make or break relationships, including intimacy, money, and life dreams. “Eight Dates” includes exercises and open-ended questions to keep your romantic spark burning bright. Whether you’re in a new relationship or wanting to grow closer with your loved one, this playful guide helps you start the conversations that matter.
The Gottman Relationship Coach
Invest in your relationship by starting the Gottman Relationship Coach today. These self-paced multimedia experiences give you tools to overcome conflict, communicate effectively, and set up your relationship for long-term success.
Find a Couples Therapist Want help applying these strategies in your relationship? Use the Gottman Referral Network to find a Gottman-trained therapist near you.