“Oops, sorry. We can’t talk about the kids tonight.” This is what my husband and I kept saying roughly every five minutes while on our date. Why? Because we’d heard a marriage expert say to “keep the focus of date night on each other and do not talk about the kids.”
By the end of the evening, we’d had fun, but I couldn’t help feeling like there were a lot of unresolved issues bothering me—things related to the kids that I wanted to talk about. So this led us to ask: Who says there is only one type of date night that’s best for couples with kids? Here are 4 types of dates to go on and how to figure out which one you need most!
1. A Fun-Without-Kids Date Night
Sometimes, you and your husband just need to get away from the kids—far, far away! You need to unplug, detach from the worries and demands, or just do some fun things that you wouldn’t normally get to do.
How do you know this is the kind of date night you need? When you’ve already hashed and rehashed the issues going on with your kids, or when you just need to get out of the worry loop you’re in, or when you can’t remember the last time the two of you went out and had fun alone. It’s probably time! If you just want to have a fun conversation with your husband, try our Would You Rather… Conversation Starter printable.
2. A Problem-Solving Date Night
Other times, you might be craving some uninterrupted time to talk about the challenges or feelings that have been weighing on you. You might need to problem-solve together, to come up with some ideas and strategies to try when you get home.
Of all the types of dates to go on, how do you know this is the kind you need? When you’ve been too busy or too exhausted to have a real conversation. Or when one of you is particularly stressed. Or when you can’t find a time or place to talk about these things without the kids eavesdropping—then it’s time.
3. A Planning and Dreaming Date Night
Are you and your husband planners and dreamers? Some couples talk about those things naturally and regularly, but others have forgotten to dream with their spouses in the midst of an overscheduled life. I mean, who has the time or energy to dream?
But if you’re nodding your head, it might be the perfect time to have this kind of date night! Planning a vacation, dreaming about owning a farm someday, or putting in a pool—these kinds of things give you something to look forward to together. Put it in writing with our Husband and Wife Bucket List printable.
4. A Romantic Date Night
People define romance differently, but the actual word means to “woo” or “seek the favor” of someone. But when you’ve been married for a while, you’ve already got each other’s favor, right? Right. But don’t you want to be wooed over and over again? Your husband does too.
So if it’s been a while, or if the spark between you could use a little fuel, then it’s time for a romantic date night. You can plan it together or make it a surprise, but the point is for the whole date to revolve around seeking the favor of each other. Consider how can you make him smile and how you can you show him how much you love him. More than just a “fun night,” a romantic date night intentionally reaches out to your husband’s heart.