“I am not a mind reader!” If I had a nickel for every time my husband said these words to me, I’d be a very rich wife. Unfortunately, I have a poor habit of assuming that my husband just knows things without my ever clueing him in. Why do I need to tell him I’m upset? I mean, he’s my husband! Shouldn’t he be able to tell what I am feeling?
Nope. We may talk with our husbands every day, but are we saying what really matters? Many women want to know how to be more open in a relationship and that starts with telling your husband what you feel instead of making him guess. Here are 5 things your husband won’t know unless you tell him.
1. Your feelings are hurt.
When our feelings are hurt, the last thing we want to do is announce our emotions to anybody. It would be easier if they just knew we were hurting. But unless we communicate our hurt to our husbands, they won’t know. Some men are not as intuitive as women. And even if they were the ones who hurt us, it may not have been intentional! By openly sharing our feelings, we open the door to effective communication in marriage.
2. You need a break.
Raising kids is exhausting, and most of the labor falls on Mom. Add work, grocery shopping, and cleaning on top of child-rearing, and any person eventually would need a break. Unfortunately, we don’t have a gas gauge on our foreheads. Our husbands don’t always know when our tanks reach empty. We have to tell them we are on low and need a break to fill up and reset!
3. You would like his help with something.
As we constantly juggle the duties of motherhood, we often feel like an extra hand or two could help lighten our load. Women love receiving help—but we don’t always like asking for it. You know that nifty gas gauge we wish were on our forehead? Well guess what. We don’t have any service indicators whatsoever! Our husbands cannot tell we need help just by looking at us. We have to say, point blank, that we require (or desire) their assistance with something.
4. You miss him.
The hustle and bustle of co-parenting leave little time for meaningful conversation as we struggle to communicate even the basics. With all the parenting chaos, it’s easy to feel far away from our husbands even when they’re in the same room! Add to that the fact that some guys don’t know how to be more open in a relationship and you’ll need to be the one to bring up the fact that you miss him. Find some time to engage in meaningful and even flirtatious conversation with your guy this week. Be sure to let him know he still puts a twinkle in your eye after all this time!
5. You are proud of him.
Just like our husbands won’t know we miss them unless we tell them, they also won’t know how proud we are of them without speaking those words. Let your husband know how proud of him you are for the way he loves the kids or the hard work he puts in to provide for your family. Don’t just speak the words “I’m proud of you.” Try to be more open and really dig deep when communicating to him exactly why you’re proud.
What are some ways you can be more open in your relationship?