• Derek Maul

20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages



One of the most dangerous threats to great marriages is lack of interest—and not just interest in sex, but interest in everything. This is the gradual, incremental, relentless movement away from intimacy that turns two people into strangers in their own house.

“Great conversations make great marriages.”

Maybe you spent two decades raising kids with crazy schedules. Then the commotion is replaced with domestic calm. Now what is there to keep your interest in the family? What is there to keep your interest in each other? What do you talk about during meals? Great conversations make great marriages (and be prepared to join in, because you can’t ask a question without digging deep yourself). Here are 20 great conversation starters for your marriage.

  1. “Tell me about two things that made you smile today.” (Read 5 Ways to Become Best Friends With Your Wife.)

  2. “Describe a perfect day together. I want all the details.” (You may want to take notes!)

  3. “Imagine we have one month and unlimited resources. What continent would we travel to and what would you like to see?”

  4. “I want to learn more about your childhood. What did you imagine your life would look like as an adult?”

  5. “I would love to hear about your dreams for the next few years.”

  6. “How far back can you trace your family tree? Share one story you don’t want to forget, or someone you hope stays alive in family lore.”

  7. “Describe your ideal situation for our children when they grow up (where they live, what they do, etc.).”

  8. “If you were a radio announcer with a daily one-hour show, what kind of music would you play?”

  9. “If you could be part of any event that shaped human history, where would you like to be? And would you want to be a spectator or a participant?”

  10. “Who was your role model (or hero) growing up?”

  11. “Who is your role model (or hero) now?”

  12. “If you could pick four historical figures (they have to be dead) to be dinner guests, who would you pick?”

  13. “What are some of the questions you would ask these famous dinner guests?”

  14. “If you could have four living famous people as dinner guests, who would they be (and what would you want to talk about)?”

  15. “If you could start a blog, what would it be about?”

  16. “It might be fun for us to read a book together. What are two books you would consider choosing? Why?”

  17. “If I were a great cook, what meal would you like me to prepare?” (Again, this is a good time to take notes!)

  18. “If your life were turned into a movie, who would play the role of you? Who would play me?”

  19. “Who would write the movie soundtrack? If the soundtrack isn’t made up of original songs, what are some existing songs that might fit?”

  20. “What do you think life after death looks like? What would you like life after death to be like?”



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